Thursday Night

Thursday night through GMS (the company i used to intern for - that andrew interns at now) we got entrance to an Acura/Metric event at the avalon in hollywood. Free food and drinks and a
[green screen photographer]
green screen photographer

like at a bar mitzvah. It was awesome. After that we danced at a gay bar hahah.

I had a dream that me haley mickey and ryan were in china or something and staying with two people. mickey and ryan got their own beds but haley and I shared a twin size bed with the couple. I had a bunch of money but didn't understand the value of the different bills. I asked a lady to help show me how much each is "taken" and she took it out of my hand and said "taken money" and slowly backed away. I think it was a 100,000 dollar bill.

this weekend is dani's wedding and warped tour

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I haven't experienced so many different emotions in a long time. Going back and forth.

This week I celebrated my birthday. As I've been getting older, I enjoy each of my birthdays less and less. My birthday this year I went to disneyland with Haley. The sadness for losing a friend was a bit stronger than the happiness I felt being at disneyland with haley. I felt numb. Afterwards.. Breakfast for dinner. Family and neighbors. It was a great 2 hours. And then right back to being numb.

Saturday was one of the happiest and deeply saddening days I have ever felt. I never knew Austin as well as I always wanted to, though hearing his great friends make their speeches, make me feel like I know him a lot better now. Being there and listening to so many people talk about life and love made me think really hard about my own life and about all the love I have. These things make me most appreciate the friendship that I share with a lot of people. But mainly, Sean and Sarah.. and i have to say.. i love them. I wouldn't be the same person if not for those two.

Spending the entire day with such great people, and being with them after the service made things a lot easier. Whether it was catching up with alex foster or doing pushups in the grass 'for austin' with andy, kai, ryan, and frazier. sean sarah kai andy ryan chloe chris kok. andrew kok. andrew raf. james frazier will and I spent hours at toppers. Then hiked tarantula hill with forties in hand to pour out 'for austin'. Again, hours. It's hard to describe.. I felt so much love and togetherness at those two places.

This weekend was hard. it was easy. it was fun. it was happy. it was sad. it was life.

My New Animation.

...Well this animation is kinda new. I started it in 12th grade and forgot it for a few years. I just finished it a few days ago.

..I keep having dreams about sean. Very weird dreams... last night we were on a roof of some mansion. There was even a jacuzzi on that roof. and his brother was fighting with him and they kept bumping in to me. I was staring at a ton of grasshoppers that were walking on a screen of one of the windows.

A few nights ago i dreamt i was at seans house and they got a new dartboard game for christmas. So we were throwing them and sean kept putting holes in the walls and i kept getting perfect scores.